So this week has been CRAZY! It is really tiring helping a companion getting ready to go home. I have been busy helping Hermana Garces packing her suitcases, organizing through her things, and telling the people goodbye. This week our zone just happened to have 2 service projects planned, we had a mini cambio, and on Saturday had our special Hermana Study...so basically we have been running around like crazy, but on Saturday we witnessed one of the most amazing miracles!
Our investigators Mariela and Luis have been progressing so much lately and this whole week we have been preparing things for the ¨secret proposal¨. On Saturday afternoon Luis told Mariela they were going to go eat dinner and during that we went over to their house with the relief society president and began decorating it. At about 7:30 pm a lot of their family and members had shown up and we all hid behind the couches and turned off the lights. When they walked in the door we turned the lights on and their daughter Estefania was holding up a sign that said, ¨mom, my dad has something important to tell you¨He then proposed to her. It was so sweet and everyone was cheering for them. Luis has set a wedding date for November 12th and they will be able to be baptized the following Saturday. It is truly incredible to see the way they have grown in their testimonies. They have been attending church for almost 3 months straight and yesterday Luis came in a suit!
On Saturday night we called President Arrington and he informed us that on Tuesday afternoon they will be dropping off my new companion. Her name is Hermana Lance and she was actually Hermana Garces´s companion before. She started the mission with me and is from Kentucky (she is actually Hermana Heaton´s trainer right now, an hermana from Panguitch). I feel bad because Hermana Heaton only has 2 weeks left of her training and now will have to be in a trio with another companionship who lives in their house, but I trust that everything will turn out okay. It is always hard changing companions especially after getting so close to Hermana Garces. I have learned so much from her amazing dedication as a missionary and will miss her a lot, but I know there are many more experiences that lie ahead and that through changes we are able to keep progressing.
This morning as we were sorting through a few papers I read this from a sister missionary´s blog and would like to share it with you.
The Honest Truth About Missions
"So are you getting paid to do this?"
"Are you getting some kind of school credit?"
"What about church promotion?"
"Well how about community recognition?"
"Then why would you EVER choose to do what you're doing??"
He had a point. I'd been talking to one of our investigators about missions and how we work as missionaries, and his final question wasn't foreign in my mind. I'd asked myself that question many times.
You asked for honest. Here's honest.
I believe many--my pre-mission self included--have a warped opinion of what it's like to be a missionary. Before I put on the tag, I had only a vague idea of what it was really like to actually be in those shoes.
I thought they were perfect.
I thought they were always happy.
I thought they loved every minute of their service.
I thought they were invincible.
I thought they didn't have a care in the world.
I thought it was probably hard work, but easy to love.
I thought they were almost always successful.
I thought that it was easy for them to sacrifice.
It seems like a lifetime away since I lived life not as a missionary. In the time that's followed--now 14 months into my mission--I've come to see missionaries and missions in a completely different light.
"Sister Parker, missions are 98% hard work, struggle, disappointment, difficulty, sorrow, and even pain. 2%.......2% is pure joy," my mission president told me during one of our first interviews together.
He was right. SO right.
Here's the honest truth: missionaries hide a lot. Sometimes it's behind a smile as someone slams the door in our face after cussing us out. Other times it's behind closed doors when we fall to our knees, sobbing and begging for the help of The Lord to carry us through. And at other times, it's only disclosed in a simple journal entry reading, "Why aren't we seeing more success?" or "Why is this so hard??" Investigators don't see the tears we cry the night they've told us they're no longer interested in meeting with us. The strangers on the street don't see our hearts sink when they refuse to listen and instead call us names. The family members back home don't see the long sleepless nights when we can't think of anything but the faces of those we miss. The members don't see our pain when ten minutes before church, an investigator calls to say he won't be able make it. And even our companions don't always see our exhaustion after a long and difficult day.
Let's get raw:
I'm not perfect.
I'm not always happy.
I don't always love every minute of it.
I'm not invincible.
It's hard back-breaking work, and not always easy to love.
I'm not always successful.
And it is HARD to sacrifice.
I've missed the weddings of two siblings.
I’ve missed the farewell of a brother leaving to serve in Russia and
I’ll soon miss the farewell of another brother leaving to serve in Portland, Oregon.
I've had more medical problems on the mission than I have my entire life.
I've been called every name in the book, and been harassed for what I believe.
I've struggled with difficult companions, areas, and people.
I've spent long and lonely nights, aching for help and comfort.
I miss home and family every. single. day.
I’ve cried more tears in the last 14 months than I have in the last 14 years.
I question my ability to succeed often.
I feel completely inadequate to meet the needs of those around me.
I often feel weak, lonely, exhausted, frustrated, disappointed, and homesick.
And yet…….my mission president continued, “Sister Parker, missions are 98% hard work, struggle, disappointment, difficulty, sorrow, and even pain. 2%.......2% is pure joy…….
And somehow that 2% makes it ALL WORTH IT.
I don’t even know how it’s possible. Serving as a missionary is THE hardest thing I have ever done. By far. It’s more demanding, challenging, and draining than anything I’ve ever experienced.
And somehow…..somehow……it is all worth it.
Yes...I long for home and family.
Yes…I miss the comforts I gave up.
Yes…I often wish people understood how much we sacrifice just to bring them the gospel and make their lives better.
Yes…I’m FAR from perfect.
Yes…I’m weak and inadequate.
And YES…..my mission has transformed me and others into people we wouldn’t have been without it. Therefore, YES…..it is worth it.
That pure joy—PURE JOY—that President told me about……I had no idea what that was like until I became a missionary and have seen the gospel change lives, including mine. Most of the time, the joy we experience as missionaries isn’t even our own. It’s the joy we feel seeing others experience the joy of the gospel……Yes, it doesn’t come often. It takes HARD work to get. But it is PURE. It’s a joy I’ve never felt before in my entire life. And I believe it is a type of joy that few will ever feel. And it comes only to those who are willing to sacrifice everything for the Lord in order to receive it.
So yes….. I’ve often thought and often been asked: "Why would I EVER choose to do what I do??"
It IS hard. It doesn’t even make since to the outside world why young missionaries like me would go out for 18-24 months, paying thousands of dollars to go, abide by such strict rules, live such a rigorous schedule, have such limited communication with family and friends, and all just to share a message about Jesus Christ and His restored gospel.
I do it because IT’S TRUE. I would not be here….doing this, sacrificing like this….if I didn’t know with all my heart that it is true. It has changed my life, and I continue to see it change others’ lives.
That is undeniable.
I can’t even begin to describe to someone why, specifically, being a missionary is so incredibly difficult.
It’s much harder than I’ll ever be able to express. But while, I don’t believe my mission will ever be easy…..nor that sacrifice or conversion will ever be easy…….I KNOW that with the help of God, it’s worth it.
Although the mission isn´t easy, I testify that with God all things are possible and that I have never felt so close to him in my entire life. I know he has a plan for me and that through the many difficulties I have never experienced so much joy than I do brining the message of the restored gospel to the people in Chile. I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate you. I am praying for you and with you the best. Have a wonderful week!.
Con harto amor,